Friday Fictioneers is the brainchild of Madison Woods who posts a photo prompt each Friday to inspire followers to write a piece of flash fiction. After observing Rich participate I decided before I read his work, to see if anything was lurking in the depths of my imagination that wanted out, and Voila here it is, slightly longer at 150 words, but I’m ok with that.
A Man’s Best Friend
What’s she called?
Buzzard.
Buzzard? As in bird?
Yeh mate, Buzzard.
Bit strange for a dog don’t you think?
If I thought it was strange I’d have called her Bud, wouldn’t I?
Yeh, I guess.
Come on then, you gonna give me a hand or not. You get the front and take it slow down them stairs, I got the back. And no chat, I don’t want nosy neighbours asking stuff ‘ll give us more to do.
The two men lifted the long rectangular box off the table and walked towards the front door of the near empty apartment. Descending the stairs, they kept the deadweight container level until they got outside then slid it into the back of the waiting yute.
But where did you get Buzzard from?
Easy, wasn’t it. Last thing I saw before I picked up the body. That and the dog. So you gonna drive or me?
Whoa, interesting and very mysterious piece. I love the, somewhat ominous, rhythm of your words in this piece. Nice job.
http://whimsicalquestsofacuriousmind.blogspot.com/
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Thank you, amazing what comes up from the depths some days, would never know if we didn’t put the imagination to work and find out.
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Very interesting… Unique approach and now I want to know more like what’s with the body? And why did he have to pick it up?
Here’s my story for your readers:
http://nwfantasywriter.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-omen.html
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Yes, in answering one question, it opens up a whole set of others.
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Lots of questions! A clever way to integrate the prompt within the story, too.
Thanks for commenting on mine.
http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/tideline-transition
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Thank you, I like that Buzzard is no bird after all, but in discovering that we are left with some other questions to imagine answers to.
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Thanks Joanna, its amazing what manifests so quickly from an image, for my part, I know it has to do with the recent reading of a Cormac McCarthy novel, the lack of speech marks, the male characters, an isolated place somewhere.
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I like it. I’d imagine this is enjoyable to do but much more difficult than it sounds!
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It pays not to think too much about it, I wrote this after seeing the prompt before the intellect could put fear into the subconscious.
I would suggest you have a go, except that if you start creating as well as reading on the job, the poor dog may never get a walk.
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A good and imaginative take on the prompt. Lopve the dialogue. Thanks for coming over, Claire. I’m here for others: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/fridayfictioneers-spectators/
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Great, thanks for putting up your link, enjoyed your piece too.
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An intriguing tale that leaves me wondering who is in the box, did the dog belong to the deceased, is this guy an undertaker? I love the mystery, good take on this prompt!
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Thank you, I’m not sure he is an offical, I’d need to write a little more before he would really reveal himself or the man in the box, but I too love how stories start this way, keeping me as much in the dark as everyone else.
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Nicely done; had to read it a couple of times. Very convincing voices.
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Thanks Sandra, I could really hear the voices, always difficult when it requires destroying the language a little, but it doesn’t work otherwise.
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I like it. Very out of the box, original thinking. Nicely done.
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Thank you, that’s a wonderful compliment indeed, though I have to admit to being somewhat inspired by a recent read of Cormac McCarthy, hence the lack of speech marks.
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In my mind I thought, “are these dudes body snatchers??” it was followed by the thought that either the dog just lost its owner and that’s why it was hanging around or it was as much a scavenger as the bird. Nice nice
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I’m asking myself the same thing, where did these guys come from, and are they good guys or bad guys?
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What I enjoy about these writing challenges is how it shapes our writer’s mind to weld the pen (or keypad). And your comment above, about writing on instinct and not analyzing is the best way to go (my opinion). As for the post, a creative response to the visual, which you made stronger with the dialogue.
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So true Brenda, I gave myself permission to just write and not beat up the little voice that was trying to get out.
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Very interesting story. Really gets my imagination going with all kinds of possibilities. Great job. Could easily become a complete novel.
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Thank you for your comment, yes, it opens up many possibilites to explore and certainly could contain within it a story that hasn’t yet been told. Love how a photo can inspire such a thing.
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I can’t shake the feeling that there’s a great deal more to this story than what meets the eye. The narrator seems like they have lots of interesting layers. I agree with theothers, the dudes with the body bag seem like they might be up to something, though I can’t fathom what that might be.
http://whimsicalquestsofacuriousmind.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-7-13-12.html
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you are right, there is much more about these characters to be revealed or imagined, making us want to read more I hope.
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I made it, Claire, and I’m glad I did. You did a unique job. Sounds like both you and I have questions about this one and probably different answers! I had to read it several times, too. Good job!
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The beauty of the imagination, all the very many differnt versions of what happened next and what was really going on. Thanks for making it and sharing in the fun.
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I’m immediately thinking NYC or Chicago “Mafia”… and the little guys who are hired to clean up their messes. lol.
ps: Love your adorable “pixie” profile pose… and…tks for visiting mine.
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Love how these short pieces inspire the imagination of the reader, thanks for reading and commenting.
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Love it!! Where’s the rest?………. 🙂
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Maybe instead of summer reading I could write a story, though I quite like the ambiguity and potential this offers as it is, such fun to write. Thanks Didi.
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You should keep writing. you’re obviously very good at it.
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Thanks Didi, love all encouragement to keep writing 🙂
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Very nice take on the prompt. Many thanks for stopping by mine
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Wow! Very creative. Thanks for checking mine out as well! 🙂
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Thank you for reading and commenting, much appreciated.
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Great job! I love when the prompt takes the story in an unexpected direction.
http://quillshiv.com/2012/07/12/lady-of-war/
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Thanks, the ever elusive unpredicatable turn, love it. Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.
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Body? Buzzard? Nager avec les poissons?
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Nice to be putting up something creative for you Nelle 🙂 Blame Cormac McCarthy, he’s still residing deep in my subconscious somewhere.
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Great story with a great ending!
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Thanks Jan, appreciate the visit and comment.
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Very good dialogue. I liked it a lot. Kinda reminded me of Cormac McCarthy.
Here’s mine:
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Thanks, he was my inspiration in fact, I read ‘The Crossing’ recently and love his clean, raw dialogue – guess the inspiration is still simmering away there long after the reading.
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It left me with questions and the itch to know more. Well done.
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Thank you for the great feedback and for stopping by to read.
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Dead weight, indeed. You left me wondering who is in the box and why! Thank you for sharing.
~Susan (www.susanwenzel.com)
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Thanks, I’m beginning to understand the power of the first 150 words in a story, ironically, I’m learning this after having written them. 🙂
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A REAL story and we come into it bang in the middle. Great way to capture the audience imagination. Very cinematic I thought. You ever done a flim script?
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Thank you very much indeed for the compliment. I have never written a film script, though I see things before I write them and like to write in a way to make the reader experience something. I did start to try and write how I thought my novel might start as a film once which I loved doing.
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As writers we do what the voices tell us. You have some disturbing voices in your head. Keep listening and sharing what they say with the rest of us. 😉
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/arson.html
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Interesting comment, as readers we interpret what we think is happening, we use our imagination when information is lacking. The possibility remains that these two could in fact be the good guys. But you are right, it is also possible that there are some disturbing characters out there, they have already decided and will reveal themselves little by little. Thanks so much for stopping by Rochelle.
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Interesting that Buzzard, the dog, is a she–and that the box with the body is in a “near empty apartment” in a desolate location (suggested by photo). Lots of possibilities here–you really should try to develop this further.
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Love that comment, it reminds me of my younger self in school when choosing subjects, always choosing the least restrictive path, the one that left all the options open for taking another route. Despite suggestions to the contrary, its not clear whether they are legitimate or not either.
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Great story, with really strong voices. I liked it a lot.
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Thanks, appreciate your comment and reading.
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Great movement of the plot with a lot happening in so few words.
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Thanks Lindy, it was a really enjoyable exercise and I appreciate all the feedback and readers.
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Creative take…very effective dialogue…I am left wanting to know how it will go on
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Thanks Kris, it was interesting that dialogue came up, it used to intimidate me, good to just jump right in for a change without thinking it out too much.
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Dear Claire,
This story was fascinating. I found myself in that world, following your characters out the door as they carried the ‘deadweight’ of the box. Buzzard the dog was just the start. Mysteries abound. Great job.
Aloha,
Doug
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Hi Doug, Glad you made it this far, what a whirlwind Friday, such fun participating and loved this prompt, it really shows what’s possible in the first 150 words. Thanks for the encouraging comments. Claire
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Wow. Very effectively creepy. Are they murderers disposing of the body, or undertakers taking charge of someone who was found dead? In either case, the second man’s comments about his dog draw him as someone I wouldn’t want to spend much time with.
Good dialog and well written – congratulations!
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Thank you kindly for your comments, yes not sure if we are dealing with gruff, rough or tough, but think I’d be steering clear of these two if I saw them. I hope for thir own sake no one did.
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I really enjoyed this. An intriguing snapshot of what could be a very compelling world. Great characterization as well as the touch of mystery. Are they burkers or something even more sinister?
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Thanks Kathy, the way is open for them to reveal more of themselves and I’m sure its not what we think. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by and commenting, its very much appreciated.
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I enjoyed reading this.
An interesting and intriguing piece. lots of questions kept opting into my head.
I thought the ending was both sinister and mysterious.
A great read – thanks.
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Thanks for your feedback, much appreciated. Enjoyed reading your 100 word shorts.
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So they kill the poor soul and steal the dog. I love what a picture of a buzzard can do to a writer! Hahaha!
Great story!
Here’s my interpretation for your readers!
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Not too sure who actually killed him, we only know who picked the body up and what he saw, loving what the imagination of readers is offering, thank you so much for reading, commenting and sharing. Bonne continuation.
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Claire, I must confess that I got hung-up a couple of places and had to read it two or three times before I got it. Did the italics switch from one character to another at the end, or is it just me?
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
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Thanks for spotting the mistake Russell, that must have happened when I was hopelessly trying to indent the dialogue to separate it from the narrative text. Good on you for picking that up, have rectified it now. Thank you for persevering and sorry about the confusion, its confusing enough calling a dog Buzzard and there being a buzzard in the story 🙂
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I was intrigued by your dog, well done and thank you for stopping by my place and the kind words.
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Yes, the innocent female. Thank you too for the return visit.
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Hi Claire,
You plunged me immediately into some dark and mysterious world, and I was trying to figure it all out right up until the end, and after.
Great storytelling. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.
Ron
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Thank you Ron, I’m happy to have elicited such a response, I felt the same way observing them in my mind, never quite sure what it was I was witness to.
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Mmm, mysterious, what happened here?
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Exactly.
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Intriguing use of the prompt. Would love to know more about the characters.
Here’s mine
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/i-should-leave-fridayfictioneers-poem/
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Interesting. Love the dialogue.
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Thanks Sonia, enjoyed your ‘Ivory Ring’ piece, creepy indeed.
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Last thing i saw before I picked up the body — eweeeeee!
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Exactly!
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Great fast-paced dialogue …
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Thanks Helen, such fun to let it pour forth.
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LOVED it! Just love shorts that leave ya with just enough of the image to be affected. What a fun and creepy impact! Shared it with my boyfriend, who is the fiction writer of the household. We both cringed with delight. Thanks for sharing.
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Very interesting story, Claire! I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing the link.
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It was fun to write a spontaneous piece to a visual prompt and I was surprised by what came out, but I’d just finished reading a Cormac McCarthy book and felt like I was still in those territories he inhabits, both physically and through language. Thanks for reading it 🙂
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